ysaid-ai0

Happy New Year~! ^-^

new year. new life. new dA account~ -->

will delete my deviations to be moved to the new one.

thank you. ^^

my heart feels for you.
i seek you, yet i cant seem to find
i have loved you.
and i don't know why
if there would be a reason, then it must be that
you, yes, you
are the only thing that would be the reason
of this chaos in my heart
in my mind...in my soul and in my existence


you broke me.
you left me.
and yet i find myself whole and alive.

you were perfect, i was just...
just me.

perhaps if you have loved me before i did.
it would be different.

or am i just wishing for something,
that can never happen.

i have loved you, maybe i still do.
or i will love you.
but remember this..

i have lost you, yet i gained something new...

today, is another day i talk to myself saying that i can do things that i was suppose to be doing but looking back, am i really doing something?

i feel like i've gone crazy. i wanted this and that. it seems like human beings can never really be contented in what they have.  so i stop. i think. again i talk to my other half.
crazy? yes. i know. there i go again.

i dont know what to do. sometimes - no most of the times i think hard and then i get to think of nothing. (can one really think of nothing?)

i feel like a complete mess. i say to myself you can do this but in the end, i end up hanging in the clouds...in the sky...floating then suddenly falling into intense speed against the gravity of the earth.

god, anyone, are you there? will you listen to my stream of consciousness?

then i stop again. thinking, we had so much blessing in our life that we forget these. we are bothered with "insignificant things" that we forget how to value life, a day in the sun or rain, and that fact that we get to have a chance to fulfill something we can - or we think we can...

okay, enough of these blabber for this midnight.


THIS IS MY FIRST JOURNAL
and i wanted to share something current and personal.

thank you for reading.

-this is REN signing off